Lent Day 8: Monkey Hugs

For the past year, I've kept a journal next to my bed and dedicated myself to writing down one memory of Eddie each day that I'd like to hold on to. Baby years, childhood, passes so quickly and the tiny baby I used to nurse is now a boy running around and growing older each day.

Today I was writing about how much I love to cuddle with him in the morning and around nap time, when I heard a large crash in his room. A toy being thrown to the floor. The crash was followed with inevitable footsteps running full speed towards my door. He pushed it open with an ear-to-ear smile. His stuffed monkey, which we've named "monkey hugs" in tow. He just wanted to be close to me. That's it.

My reflections on God today leave me with the thinking about how we are called his children. How he watches us grow up and how he must enjoy the intimate time we spend with him in prayer. The book we have been reading on prayer has been talking about the fact that God chooses to respond to prayer. He chooses to change things based on whether we pray. Because, he wants us to pray. He knows what we need and he knows everything past, present and future. But he invites us to partake in shaping the world through both our actions and our prayers.

I see the image of Eddie coming to my door and flinging it open with a large grin and I feel a deep sense of joy. I can only imagine that God, in seeing us sincerely praying, is also filled with joy.

The Girl No One Wanted

I like this story in that it shows that God loves all his children, no matter what they look like.  God is not shallow.  On the other hand, why did Laban choose to trick Jacob?  Is it to show us that we should not put our faith and trust in man because others will always let us down, and we should no dwell in this dishonesty or else hate and spite will grow within us?

Differences...

He had to wait another 7 years for Rachel, where as in the bible he only had to wait a week, but work for another 7 years in return.

In the picture it showed Leah walking with 4 children, but it only mentions her having one child - Judah.  why not mention that she had 6 children?  I understand that it would be too complicated for a children's story to mention the maidservants having children with Jacob and Rachel being barren - and then God later blessing her with children.  But, why only mention Judah as Leah's child?  Also, since the following story mentions Joesph, why was he not mentioned in this story?

Lent Day 7: walking with God

Today felt very "Lent" like. Technology didn't work. I sat around waiting for people to get back to me. Eddie was a pill and wore me out in the afternoon. It was a day where the wheels didn't quite turn right. At church, we had music practice and we picked out music for Good Friday. My devotions included the sacrifice of Issac and whether or not God changes his plan based on prayers. I'm left now at 10:30 tired and a bit confused.

But it feels right. It feels like a journey with God. Jesus in the wilderness. Abraham wondering. Me, starting to feel the first of my contractions in this pregnancy and knowing the mountain ahead that I am starting to climb. Like Jesus and Abraham. I have to trust God. I have to trust in what he's doing in and through me.... and I have to pray. I have to talk to God. Honestly and completely and through that conversation find the strength to submit myself to his will for my life.

The Present

Going to do this in a bit of a different style tonight - train of thought reactions:

*I can't imagine actually being willing to sacrifice my child...and I probably won't even truly understand how unfathomable that is until I have children of my own.  What a monumental statement - from both Abraham and God.

**Interesting difference that I found:

• From the Story "Don't hurt the boy.  I want him to live and not die.  I know now that you love me because you would have given me your only son."
• From the Bible (NIV) "“Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

 Is the difference for the benefit of a child's understanding?  Are we supposed to interpret fearing God and loving God as the same?

***Still perturbed by the absence of Ishmael.  At first I thought it was just because, for the Story's sake, it was easier to leave him out/easier to make the parallel with God and Jesus...and then realized that even the Bible specifically excludes him!

• From the Story "He wanted Abraham to give him his son, his only son, the son he loved - Isaac"
• From the Bible (NIV) “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” 

****I feel like this story would require a lot of background knowledge teaching in order for a child to understand it.  Interpreting an animal sacrifice as "a way to say 'I love you' to God," isn't exactly something I would expect them to be familiar with or be comfortable with.

Lent Day 6: Transforming emptiness into Love

I have been spending more time in prayer and reading about prayer and wondering about the theology of prayer.  One thing that I am starting to see in my life is a changing and a melting of who I am into my prayers. While life stays invigoratingly disheveled, I am at peace to let it be on its own path. In my Old Testament reading, today was a survey of the life of Abraham. One of the main points that stuck out was the amount of wondering he did before drawing near to the land, the blessing, the offspring promised to him. Conversation with God along the way encouraged him through the journey. Conversation with God encourages me too.

The space, the emptiness, the waiting for God to act gives me more time to reflect on situations that demand me to be respond with love. If my pace was quicker. If my life simply resolved and I moved on to the next phase without this haze of wilderness I would not take notice to these situations. I would cast them off as something I didn't really have time to attend to. But this empty, pregnant time gives me the opportunity to see and to respond. Prayer gives me strength, wisdom and love and I find myself being transformed.

Son of laughter

God's special promise to Abraham, from Genesis 12-21.  Before I began reading, I was thinking this was going to be a long story.  To my surprise, it turned to be a shorter story than expected.  So, I went to the Bible... and WOW!  I read 12-21 and talk about a brief summary children's bible is... there is so much that is left out:  The call from the Lord to leave this country, Abram in Egypt where Sarai (Sarah) is taken as an Egyptian's wife and God inflicted disease, Abram and his brother Lot (whom is not even mentioned) separate to avoid conflict, God gives Abram land and the promise of offspring forever, war between many kings and Abram rescues Lot, (Gensis 15, the first part that was from the story) God comes to Abram (again) and promises a son and asks him to count the stars, Hagar (Sarai's maidservant) is taken as Abram's wife and becomes pregnant - she runs away and an angels finds her and convinces her to return and name the son Ishmael, (Genesis 17) God comes, yet again, to promise Abram a son and tells Abram, "any uncircumcised male, who has not been circumcised in the flesh, will be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant." God changes Abram's name to Abraham and Sarai's name to Sarah, Abraham gives himself, Ishmael and every other man in their household circumcisions.  Three visitors come, it is mentioned again Sarah will bear a children which causes Sarah to laugh, Sodom is destroyed and Lot invites two angels home with him - Men surround his house looking for the men who are at his home and want to have sex with them, but Lot offers his two virgin daughters instead (What?! Ok, I know why this was left out) the angels struck all men with blindness and told Lot to get everyone out that they (and the Lord) were going to destroy the place, Lot and his two daughters escape the the mountains they wanted to preserve their family line so they got their father drunk and "lay with him" and they both became impregnated and bore sons, Abraham and Sarah continued to move and did the brother/sister trick again and God was going to destroy Abimrlech and his kingdom...   And finally the birth is Isaac!

OK, now back to "Son of laughter."  Now I know why Sarah laughed.  Even though she was old, God had come to them numerous times before (over a span of almost 20 years) promising a son.  I could see why she was starting to doubt.. as humans we are impatient - if something doesn't happen as we would like we will believe it won't happen at all.

It mentions that the world was not getting any better that people were still getting sick and dying... but it was because got was cursing people with disease and destroying cities at a time.  Saying, "It was never meant to be like this,"  is that implying that God had made a mistake?

Not in any of the versus did it mention "God's Secret Rescue Plan" and that one of Abraham's great-great-great grandchildren will be the Child!?  I do like how the storybook bible keeps bringing that in and it makes all of these stories a story about Jesus, but is that more of an afterthought?

Lent Day 5: Grace

It's amazing how Lent continues to whirl around me. Sustained uncertainty in life is starting to make me smile because its just entirely fitting with the season. What I have noticed about today particularly is how much assurance I feel. Assurance that God will provide. Assurance that God will resolve things and an assurance that God is with me on this journey despite how confusing it seems.

Reading through my book on prayer, reading Genesis and listening to a series on Spiritual disciplines for Lent at church all at the same time has sent my mind racing. Theologically I feel very all over the map. Sometimes very secure in my faith and others feeling shaky that my understanding of God could come unglued by those deep nagging questions that never quite find answers.

However, as I lay in bed, reviewing the day I find myself deeply assured that even in the midst of my questions and doubts. In the midst of major life upheaval. In the midst of this Lenten journey there are another set of footsteps silent beside mine and I do not walk it alone. I stand on Grace and Grace assures me.