Lent Day 8: Monkey Hugs

For the past year, I've kept a journal next to my bed and dedicated myself to writing down one memory of Eddie each day that I'd like to hold on to. Baby years, childhood, passes so quickly and the tiny baby I used to nurse is now a boy running around and growing older each day.

Today I was writing about how much I love to cuddle with him in the morning and around nap time, when I heard a large crash in his room. A toy being thrown to the floor. The crash was followed with inevitable footsteps running full speed towards my door. He pushed it open with an ear-to-ear smile. His stuffed monkey, which we've named "monkey hugs" in tow. He just wanted to be close to me. That's it.

My reflections on God today leave me with the thinking about how we are called his children. How he watches us grow up and how he must enjoy the intimate time we spend with him in prayer. The book we have been reading on prayer has been talking about the fact that God chooses to respond to prayer. He chooses to change things based on whether we pray. Because, he wants us to pray. He knows what we need and he knows everything past, present and future. But he invites us to partake in shaping the world through both our actions and our prayers.

I see the image of Eddie coming to my door and flinging it open with a large grin and I feel a deep sense of joy. I can only imagine that God, in seeing us sincerely praying, is also filled with joy.

The Girl No One Wanted

I like this story in that it shows that God loves all his children, no matter what they look like.  God is not shallow.  On the other hand, why did Laban choose to trick Jacob?  Is it to show us that we should not put our faith and trust in man because others will always let us down, and we should no dwell in this dishonesty or else hate and spite will grow within us?

Differences...

He had to wait another 7 years for Rachel, where as in the bible he only had to wait a week, but work for another 7 years in return.

In the picture it showed Leah walking with 4 children, but it only mentions her having one child - Judah.  why not mention that she had 6 children?  I understand that it would be too complicated for a children's story to mention the maidservants having children with Jacob and Rachel being barren - and then God later blessing her with children.  But, why only mention Judah as Leah's child?  Also, since the following story mentions Joesph, why was he not mentioned in this story?

Lent Day 7: walking with God

Today felt very "Lent" like. Technology didn't work. I sat around waiting for people to get back to me. Eddie was a pill and wore me out in the afternoon. It was a day where the wheels didn't quite turn right. At church, we had music practice and we picked out music for Good Friday. My devotions included the sacrifice of Issac and whether or not God changes his plan based on prayers. I'm left now at 10:30 tired and a bit confused.

But it feels right. It feels like a journey with God. Jesus in the wilderness. Abraham wondering. Me, starting to feel the first of my contractions in this pregnancy and knowing the mountain ahead that I am starting to climb. Like Jesus and Abraham. I have to trust God. I have to trust in what he's doing in and through me.... and I have to pray. I have to talk to God. Honestly and completely and through that conversation find the strength to submit myself to his will for my life.

The Present

Going to do this in a bit of a different style tonight - train of thought reactions:

*I can't imagine actually being willing to sacrifice my child...and I probably won't even truly understand how unfathomable that is until I have children of my own.  What a monumental statement - from both Abraham and God.

**Interesting difference that I found:

• From the Story "Don't hurt the boy.  I want him to live and not die.  I know now that you love me because you would have given me your only son."
• From the Bible (NIV) "“Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

 Is the difference for the benefit of a child's understanding?  Are we supposed to interpret fearing God and loving God as the same?

***Still perturbed by the absence of Ishmael.  At first I thought it was just because, for the Story's sake, it was easier to leave him out/easier to make the parallel with God and Jesus...and then realized that even the Bible specifically excludes him!

• From the Story "He wanted Abraham to give him his son, his only son, the son he loved - Isaac"
• From the Bible (NIV) “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” 

****I feel like this story would require a lot of background knowledge teaching in order for a child to understand it.  Interpreting an animal sacrifice as "a way to say 'I love you' to God," isn't exactly something I would expect them to be familiar with or be comfortable with.

Lent Day 6: Transforming emptiness into Love

I have been spending more time in prayer and reading about prayer and wondering about the theology of prayer.  One thing that I am starting to see in my life is a changing and a melting of who I am into my prayers. While life stays invigoratingly disheveled, I am at peace to let it be on its own path. In my Old Testament reading, today was a survey of the life of Abraham. One of the main points that stuck out was the amount of wondering he did before drawing near to the land, the blessing, the offspring promised to him. Conversation with God along the way encouraged him through the journey. Conversation with God encourages me too.

The space, the emptiness, the waiting for God to act gives me more time to reflect on situations that demand me to be respond with love. If my pace was quicker. If my life simply resolved and I moved on to the next phase without this haze of wilderness I would not take notice to these situations. I would cast them off as something I didn't really have time to attend to. But this empty, pregnant time gives me the opportunity to see and to respond. Prayer gives me strength, wisdom and love and I find myself being transformed.

Son of laughter

God's special promise to Abraham, from Genesis 12-21.  Before I began reading, I was thinking this was going to be a long story.  To my surprise, it turned to be a shorter story than expected.  So, I went to the Bible... and WOW!  I read 12-21 and talk about a brief summary children's bible is... there is so much that is left out:  The call from the Lord to leave this country, Abram in Egypt where Sarai (Sarah) is taken as an Egyptian's wife and God inflicted disease, Abram and his brother Lot (whom is not even mentioned) separate to avoid conflict, God gives Abram land and the promise of offspring forever, war between many kings and Abram rescues Lot, (Gensis 15, the first part that was from the story) God comes to Abram (again) and promises a son and asks him to count the stars, Hagar (Sarai's maidservant) is taken as Abram's wife and becomes pregnant - she runs away and an angels finds her and convinces her to return and name the son Ishmael, (Genesis 17) God comes, yet again, to promise Abram a son and tells Abram, "any uncircumcised male, who has not been circumcised in the flesh, will be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant." God changes Abram's name to Abraham and Sarai's name to Sarah, Abraham gives himself, Ishmael and every other man in their household circumcisions.  Three visitors come, it is mentioned again Sarah will bear a children which causes Sarah to laugh, Sodom is destroyed and Lot invites two angels home with him - Men surround his house looking for the men who are at his home and want to have sex with them, but Lot offers his two virgin daughters instead (What?! Ok, I know why this was left out) the angels struck all men with blindness and told Lot to get everyone out that they (and the Lord) were going to destroy the place, Lot and his two daughters escape the the mountains they wanted to preserve their family line so they got their father drunk and "lay with him" and they both became impregnated and bore sons, Abraham and Sarah continued to move and did the brother/sister trick again and God was going to destroy Abimrlech and his kingdom...   And finally the birth is Isaac!

OK, now back to "Son of laughter."  Now I know why Sarah laughed.  Even though she was old, God had come to them numerous times before (over a span of almost 20 years) promising a son.  I could see why she was starting to doubt.. as humans we are impatient - if something doesn't happen as we would like we will believe it won't happen at all.

It mentions that the world was not getting any better that people were still getting sick and dying... but it was because got was cursing people with disease and destroying cities at a time.  Saying, "It was never meant to be like this,"  is that implying that God had made a mistake?

Not in any of the versus did it mention "God's Secret Rescue Plan" and that one of Abraham's great-great-great grandchildren will be the Child!?  I do like how the storybook bible keeps bringing that in and it makes all of these stories a story about Jesus, but is that more of an afterthought?

Lent Day 5: Grace

It's amazing how Lent continues to whirl around me. Sustained uncertainty in life is starting to make me smile because its just entirely fitting with the season. What I have noticed about today particularly is how much assurance I feel. Assurance that God will provide. Assurance that God will resolve things and an assurance that God is with me on this journey despite how confusing it seems.

Reading through my book on prayer, reading Genesis and listening to a series on Spiritual disciplines for Lent at church all at the same time has sent my mind racing. Theologically I feel very all over the map. Sometimes very secure in my faith and others feeling shaky that my understanding of God could come unglued by those deep nagging questions that never quite find answers.

However, as I lay in bed, reviewing the day I find myself deeply assured that even in the midst of my questions and doubts. In the midst of major life upheaval. In the midst of this Lenten journey there are another set of footsteps silent beside mine and I do not walk it alone. I stand on Grace and Grace assures me.

A giant staircase to heaven

This gets a little confusing since it skips Genesis 10.  Noah's children all had children after the flood.  One of the son's family had split into many clans that had spread out, each with their own language.  But at the beginning of Genesis 11, (in both versions) it emphasizes that everyone spoke exactly the same language.  How does that work? 

Again, God steps in and makes them speak different languages.  What happened to the God that gives unconditional love? 

A Giant Staircase to Heaven

Parable or Account?

The story of the Tower of Babel obviously presents a lesson about the evils of materialism and conceit.  What's interesting to me is the very hands-on reaction God has to the whole situation.  The book tells the story of the creation of different languages very humorously, but it truly is a pretty monumental event (if it really happened).

Again I feel like I'm reading about a god with a split personality...In the OT God seems to be very reactive - punishing Adam and Eve, destroying the world with the flood, creating new languages so people couldn't communicate, etc.  But NT God is presented as more forgiving (both by the way the NT is written and from our interpretation of God from The Shack).

If you think of God as a parent, these reactions make sense.  A new parent is inexperienced, and therefore more likely to react emotionally to their child's actions.  There has been emphasis placed on God being "all-knowing" and that Jesus was always a part of his plan...but it feels to me more like a parent who has eventually gained enough experience that they finally get it right.  Same as how it takes a while for a new teacher to develop the classroom management style that works best for them.

Sara made a good point in her response yesterday though - maybe the wait for Jesus was for the benefit of humanity as a whole.  Adam also made a good point in our discussion - in the same way that a parent should allow their children to make mistakes and learn from them, God allowed humanity to make mistakes in the hopes that we would eventually learn from them.

In the end, I think these stories support The Shack's interpretation of God - we are given as many opportunities as possible to do the right thing, and when we don't, God tries to make lemonade out of our lemons.

Lent Day 4: Prayer

My day was focused around having a bbq to get to know some of the other young couples / parents from our church. It went well. 9 adults and 6 kids showed up and we all seemed to have a good time getting to know each other better.

In the prayer book that Ulrich and I are reading, the focus of tonight's section was on prayers' ability to turn your focus on what needs to be done and prompt you to do it.  As you ask for things, you meditate "well, how have I helped with that?"

Praying for other people empowers us to find mission. Who in our lives needs prayer? What do they need prayer for? Even if the situations in people's lives are far beyond our capacity to fix or resolve, the focus of praying for them connects us to them. Creates a compassion in our hearts for their situation and draws us into a place of openness and willingness. Then, take Jesus's command -- pray for your enemies....hmmm....

A New Beginning

The story of Noah's Arc.  (again, a joint post.)

This story is very much like how we remember the story, but...

It only mentioned animals, but nothing of animals being in pairs.  In fact, in both pictures that show animals there wasn't even one pair present.

If God already had a better plan, for his son to come, then why did he waste his time with the flood to wash away hate and sadness if he knew it would happen again?   If he had a plan to not destroy the world, but to save it, why did he not just save the world first?

The last part, "God's strong anger hate and sadness and death would come down once more - but not on his people, or his world.  No, God's war bow was not pointing down at his people. It was pointing up, into the heart of Heaven." What?!

Also, God having a plan versus us having free will with God watching over us.  This story is stressing that God is all-knowing and already has a plan for the future.

Lent Reflections Day 3: Winds of Change

I can feel the winds of change beginning to blow in my life -- stirring up a sort of uncomfortable uncertainty about the future. Our household, our church, my work situation, Ulrich's work situation, our family -- all are in the midst of some form of transformation and for now a veiled in a sort of uncertainty that feels very much like Lent.

I wonder why we go through these uncomfortable moments? Why does change and uncertainty (even when we know whatever happens will be good) feel so hard and uncomfortable.

I am trying to rest in the uncertainty and be at peace in it.

The Terrible Lie

Toni and I are actually sitting at the table together right now...so this is kind of a joint post :-)

We've found a lot of differences between this story and the Bible chapter - some of them potentially important, others not so much...

• The Story adds in the story of Lucifer - which chronologically makes sense, but it isn't in Genesis.
• That also led me to notice that the snake is never actually identified as Satan in Genesis.
• The Story leaves out Adam and Eve making clothes for themselves
• The Story completely leaves out all of the punishment that God hands down because of their transgression
• To Eve: "You will suffer terribly when you give birth.  But you will still desire your husband, and he will rule over you."
• To Adam: "As long as you live, you will have to struggle to grow enough food.  Your food will be plants, but the ground will produce thorns and thistles.  You will have to sweat to earn a living; you were made out of soil, and you will once again turn into soil."
•  After reading The Shack it's hard to read about that side of God.  The Shack gave the impression that God was deeply disappointed in us, not that he was angry or wanted revenge.  I just got to Judges in my daily OT reading...I have definitely felt that God is written about very differently in the OT and NT.

Here's a fun nitpicky question...why was the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden in the first place?!  If it was a test for us, why did God think he would need to test us in the first place?

Lent Reflections: Day 2 - God's Will

As part of our Lenten practice, Ulrich and I are reading together and praying each night. Tonight's reading makes for a good blog post. We are currently reading from Philip Yancy's book on Prayer, which I highly recommend. What strikes me most from today's reading was a quote from Eugene Peterson who translated the Message.

Greek has a middle voice - something between passive and active "which describes the subjects as participating in the results of the action. It reads as a description for Christian prayer... I neither do it, nor have it done to me....

I will to participate in what is willed"

This to me is a great devotion for the journey of Lent. Preparing ourselves to participate in what is willed. Opening ourselves to join in what God is doing in our lives, whatever that may be. How can we, through prayer, find ourselves participating in God's will? In practice, how do we discern it and how does prayer move us from where we are to the place where God would have us be?

The Beginning: A Perfect Home

Overall, it felt pretty standard.  But a couple of things stuck out to me.

• It tells the story of the creation of the Earth kind of backwards from how I've always read it before.  "From the beginning, God had a shining dream in his heart.  He would make people to share his Forever Happiness.  They would be his children, and the world would be their perfect home."  That gives a new interpretation, or at least one that I don't think is as common.  Before, it seemed to me that God created light, earth, animals..so on and so forth...and created humans at the end because he kept looking for the "right" thing (if that makes any sense).  But this story emphasizes that God always planned on making humans, and that the creation of everything else was actually for them.

• Interesting that this book simply says "So God breathed life into Adam and Eve."  It doesn't mention at all that Adam was made first or that Eve was made from him.  In some ways I think that's a good thing, because those details have been used in the past to justify seeing women as second-best.  But, on the other hand, leaving out those details also kind of takes away from the unique beauty of our creation.  Something that I took away from The Shack and from Captivating is that women were not just an after-thought, we are specifically designed to mirror the "feminine" qualities of God (loving, compassionate, attention to beauty and detail, etc.)  So...I guess I'm not quite sure if that's a positive or a negative for me.

1st Day of Lent - Reflections on God

It was an odd first day of Lent for me. The weather here was absolutely beautiful. Eddie ran around outside naked for a while and I sat and soaked up the sunlight, reflecting on Lent, God and the journey I will be taking for the next 40 days.

I spent the day entirely alone without much to do besides keep Eddie busy. It was on one hand beautiful and relaxing and on the other lonely and isolating. Entering into the wilderness. We have seasons in life and this time in Livermore has most definitely been a season of wilderness. Of wondering mostly alone trying to figure out what's next -- what should I be doing with my life? Who am I now?  These questions don't have quick or easy answers. I've been asking them since Ulrich and I got married but they took on new dimension after I lost my job and had Eddie and moved to a new town where we didn't know anyone and despite my best efforts I haven't been able to make a single close friend.

Lent heightens this feeling of wilderness, but each year a promise of finding God in Easter carries me through the wilderness time.

The Story and The Song

I really like how the introduction lays out the Bible is not a book of rules or a book of heroes, it says how those are not true and then states what the bible is about.  I think this is important, especially with a children's edition, so they do not grow up with these misconceptions. 

The bible is a story.  "There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all stories are telling one Big Story."  This is a great way to put it.  In a writing curriculum that many schools have adopted, students are to write "seed" stories, not "watermelon" stories.  The idea is to close in on one small part and go into detail, if you create many seed stories about one event, then you will end up with one big story. 

I didn't really know how to start this... so I'll wait for your comments and then comment as well!

I got my book!

My book came in the mail today.  I'm really excited! Kels, did you get your yet?

Do we want to set a goal for when we want to be done with the book?  There are 44 stories.. so if we did one a week it would be about 10 months.. or do we want to go through it faster than that?  For each story, under the heading, is the bible verse from which it came.    Maybe even compare the stories to the bible as we read as well? 

What do you guys think?

Lent

I figured this would be a good convo for the end of this week to hold us over until we get our children's bibles. So, yesterday I had a brief convo with Sara regarding lent and how I don't even remember what I gave up for lent last year. I am sure if I asked Jay he could help me figure it out - clearly it wasn't a big enough sacrifice!

From my understanding, Lent is about willing to sacrifice. I was trying to think of something that will be an actual sacrifice and hard to accomplish, yet make me a better person...

Here are a few ideas:

• second helpings (of food) - I wait until everyone has been served, but I always seem to go back for more whether I am hungry or not. I just like food and I don't need it no matter how much I just want more. Or, maybe I should fast? One meal a day?
  

• my snooze button - I love my snooze button! In fact, I usually set my alarm for at least 30 minutes early just so I can hit snooze. I think this would be a challenge, but I just do this all the time. But think what I could do with all my extra time?
  

• complaining - I complain all the time, just to do it. It is usually about my day or something that just pissed me off and it just makes me feel better to let it out and then I'm done. But who really wants to listen to me rant and rave about something that doesn't really matter? I know Jay doesn't and he usually has to bear the brunt of my "misfortunes."

• make-up - I hate the constant dark circles under my eyes. they make me look so tired, even when I am not. They are not bags, I just have really think skin underneath my eyes and it causes it to appear significantly darker than the rest of my skin. I usually only wear make-up because of this. Then, once I have foundation on it makes my eyes blend in, so then I put on more make-up.

Any thoughts?

Jesus Storybook Bible

I just ordered mine!  Got it for $9.54 brand new at bookdepository.com

So hopefully we'll be able to start up our Storybook Bible Study within the next week or so :-)