Now that I'm back from Spring Break I'm back on the horse! Just a mini-post tonight though so that you have the chance to get caught up :-)
Adam and I had multiple discussions about Lent this year and we weren't really able to come up with good ideas of something we should give up; so instead we decided to reignite our search for a home church. The basketball coach Adam worked with invited us to his church, so we've been going there for the past few weeks. Adam likes the church, I think it reminds him some of St. Luke's...but I'm still not feeling connected. When we went to ResLife in GR for the first time I immediately felt the Holy Spirit wash over me - the music, the message, all the pieces were in place. While the messages have been decent at this new church, the rest of the pieces of the puzzle are missing for me. Haven't felt anything at any of the churches that we've been to in Kalamazoo; and I feel like I should feel something when I go to church. Adam and I were talking in the car after service today and he was saying that he's beginning to wonder if we're being too picky. That maybe we can't expect to feel a connection right away, that we need to build that connection.
But I feel like you should be able to feel the Holy Spirit while you're at church - what's the point of going if you're not really connected? We haven't been to a church yet that feels alive to me.
Are my expectations too high? And if so, why?! I just don't understand why it would be the accepted norm that going to church is more of a "going through the motions" experience than a connected, spiritual experience. Am I being selfish/too picky?
I just came back from church and think its an ideal time to talk about this.
ReplyDeleteSo in short. Connection at church is about you. It is about your openness to reach out to people, to join things. It is about you looking to love and looking to connect. And the Holy Spirit uses that to lead you to the right people.
Its not TV or a good movie where the emotions are all bottled up for you for you to come and experience and feel them. Its not passive that way.
Its also about more than just emotion. How we feel is a really small part of it.
That said, there are times when a church isn't the right match. If you go open and earnest about looking to find God and to connect to others then it shouuld click.
Sometimes what the spirit leads us to is uncomfortable or something that we have walls up against. So it doesn't feel good. It feels bad. It feels hard.
Sometimes we have to go outside of our boxes to find the community that God has for us because the lessons he wants to teach are all about breaking down those walls and judgements....
Its boring
there's no one like us here....
this isn't how I usually do it
Sometimes God calls us into deeper and richer worship experiences by teaching us something new. Connecting us with people who are at different points in their faithwalk which open our eyes to new things and help us to see God and people differently.
Not easy though...
But if you're going into it with an open mind and heart, which I have been, shouldn't you be able to feel a connection to God's presence in the place/in the people? I feel like the trinity invites us to experience religions in different ways - we need to have trust in God, faith in Jesus, and I think we should be experiencing the Holy Spirit. I feel like the churches we've been visiting desperately lack in third category...is it really a worthwhile/enriching experience without all three?
ReplyDeleteThat's true -- its just that the Holy Spirit comes in different ways. It is like the wind. Some times profound and violent sometimes gentle and soothing. In some places the Holy Spirit raises a rucus and gets people jumping around and speaking in tongues and sometimes the Spirit quietly leads people to lives of humble devotion and immense generosity.
ReplyDeleteIt could be that God is calling you to search and find a place where you can feel him. It may be that God is calling you to mature in your faith and deepen your walk through Christian practice of love and obedience.
Its hard to know what God has in store for our faith walks. The answer lies in a couple of places -- reading the bible. Scripture helps reveal God to us in new ways and can help us to see what God is trying to teach us. Prayer -- keeps us focused on God and sets us in the right place and I would add service or love. Reaching out to the people that God puts in our lives with love (whoever they may be) and reaching out to them with love will teach you to see the world as God sees it.
In terms of "feeling" it. Keep trying though. It may be a biblestudy or joining choir or a small group or something else that helps you in your christian walk. Keep pressing. Just realize that it isn't always about the worship service .... there's more to church than that.